TAP No. 42 - Interview With A Grand Guy, Blue Box Keyboard

Interview With A Grand Guy Jim Phelps: When I first met you, I was immediately re- minded of Terry Southern's hilarious Magic Christian, Guy Grand. Have you read it? “Guy Grand": Yes! When I was about twelve. It was the greatest book I ever read! You're the only person I ever met who heard of it. Do you remember the part where he built the vat in downtown Chicago, filled it with manure and $100 bills, heated it, and told people "FREE $ HERE"? And then there was the bit... JP: I think everyone should read the book instead. If they can find a copy - it's out of print and libraries no longer seem to have it, They may have to settle for the movie version which appears on TV occasionally. ‘There have been many “Guys" through history. Have you heard the one Jean Shepherd: told recently on his WOR radio show? (Shepherd was immortalized with his "I, Libertine" literary hoax. There was an article about it in the Aug. 1, 1956 Wall Street Journal. Among other errors, it misspelled his name.) A wealthy "Guy" in the 1890's arranged for an opera party. He gave free tickets to his aristocratic ac- quaintances for reserved seats, with the condition that everyone dress in white formal wear. His victims were all strategically located among the usual "black tie" patrons, and spelled out to those in the balccny what was, in those pre-Vietnam days, the ultimate obscenity. I don't suppose he was an ancestor of yours? GG: Iwish he was. JP: Then there was the bulldozer operator on the DEWline in northern Canada who used a couple of years of his spare time to create the world's largest FUCK. It is reportedly clearly visible at 30,000feet. You can imagine commercial jet pilots: "This is the Captain. On your left we are now passing one of Canada's unnatural wonders..." It is probably the first indication extra-terrestrial visitors would have of intelligent(?) life on this planet. At last re- port, it was still there. The Canadian gov't would like it destroyed but doesn't know how to word the necessary legislation and justify the expense, so they're ignoring it. Did you have anything to do with that? = — GG: No, but I'd like to contact him. JP: How long have you been doing your thing? GG: Atleast 5 or 6 years. I started with small things. I'd find a church which was raffling offa car. The day after the drawing, I'd call up 30 or 40 people in that neighborhood, tell them they'd won, and to go down and collect their prize. JP: A lot of your activities have innocent victims. I can't say that I approve of that, altho I do approve of creating chaos within the System. Have you read the Dluminatus! trilogy? Are you 2 member of the Legion of Dynamic Discord? Hail Eris! GG: All Hail Discordia! I like to stir things up. Make it hot for them. Keep politicians and bureaucrats on their toes. The poor slobs don't get mad at the perpetrator; they blame the organization. Here's one TAP readers may want to try. Call up The Phone Company to get the name of a business rep. Then get the names of some slobs or personal enemies out of the phone book. Use an old book to make sure they've been there two or three years. Call them, using the name of the br. and tell them: "We've been reviewing your phone bills. Due toa mistake in computer billing, we owe you a refund of $214 {Gr sg7. Because it is in excess of $100, we can’t credit it to your account or mail it to you. You'll have to Pick it up." Do 10 or 15 in one to one b. r. and you'll make his day. You can do something similar with the IRS. Get the name of an agent (the title they give to their thieves). Then call @ local small businessman and tell him you're Mr. ---- of the IRS, As soon as he hears IRS, he'll panic, will become a recording, and will answer anything you ask him. Tell him: "We've sent you several requests to appear for an audit, but you've ignored all of them. We're giving you ONE LAST CHANCE. You are expected here {5 days hencé7 with your records for (3 recent years or we'll take final action, * Call a bunch of people and schedule them all for the same day. That day you can find out how successful you were by calling the agent. Tell him in a panicky voice that you're gms TAP ‘Mr. ---- and are scheduled for an audit, but had a terrible emergency and can't make it. He will say in a hysterical voice: "Don't come! It's a madhouse! That was a hoax! We're investigating!" JP. I liked the one about the telephone answering device. GG: Yeah! You geta tape recorder ready. Call up some- one with a device when he's not home, and record his "This is @ recording. At the signal, leave your message." Then call him again. At the signal, play YOUR recording of HIS recording. Do it four or five times. He will be convinced his machine is fucked up and will take it in for service. The company will say it is impossible. It will destroy his mind, JP: The thing you did with the 1040 form was very creative. GG: We took some 1040 forms for the past few years and made some changes. We got xx, 000 of them printed up (use discretion in choosing a printer) and distributed them into the stacks in Post Offices. They were weird and anyone should have realized it, but they've become so conditioned that they'll believe anything that looks official. We had things like Single/7 Married/7 Divorced/7 Shacking UpL7; Sign at the top; checking account # instead of SS#, etc. JP. You didn't get any feedback on that. But the thing with the Federal Reserve Board made the news, (The Oct. Pent- house, which was banned in New Hampshire for another reason, had an excellent article on the Board; also an inter- view with Murray Rothbard, one of the few economists who makes sense.) GG: I called an airline ahd made a First Class round trip reservation for a party of ten to the Bahamas. With hotel reservations. The whole bit. Told them to bill Arthur Burns and gave them his address, etc. Two months later, some Senator was raising hell about the $8, 000 hill the FRB couldn't explain. JP: The airline didn't call che FRB to confirm it? GG: Nah, they can't be bothered. (maybe they do now!) If you sound authentic, they have no reason to question it. 1 have everything written out in advance - addresses and phone mumbers with extensions, banks and branch offices, purchase order #, everything! I us phone all day long on my job, and I know how people will react, I'm in -------- JP: That is not my favorite occupation. Did you hear about the airliner which lost an engine, then another, So the pilot said they'd have to jettison the baggage. ‘Then a third engine started misfiring, so he said: "We'll have to start jettisoning passengers. The order will be based on their value to society." A fight broke out between a used car salesman, a disc jockey, and a ----------. GG: Very funny! Harumpft JP: It's too bad you can't use your techniques to stop government spending. Cancel million dollar boondoggles, etc. GG: Well, this could save some people money if they have the right name. A lot of mayors have common names: Bradley, Gibson, etc. Find someone in another town with the same name. Send their electric company a change of address using the mayor's address for the new address. Ifa politician really bugs you, file amended tax returns for him. You need bis SS# for that. It's easier to mess up a middle level: bureaucrat by calling his superior, telling him you're with the State Investigation Dep't, and that the Youth Hot Line Reports, Ine. 1977 - Do not make checks ‘out to Youth Hot Line Reports, PLEASE! Movement groups may reprint without permission if TAP's address is given with all credits. Please send us a copy of reprinted work. WARNING: We will prosecute copyright violators. man is under investigation. "The IRS has informed us that he has sevdral-large bank accounts, We'd like to know if it's possible for him to make $80,000/year on his present job." This is a good one to use on welfare caseworkers. ‘Their superiors will think their "clients" (parasites) are kicking back on their checks. JP; And even if the bureaucrat denies it, and nothing can be proven, they'll always be suspect. Chekhov wrote a ‘story about suspicion once. You certainly seem to think it is possible to fight City Hall. You're the General and the slobs are the cannon fodder. The important thing seems to be to have the names of actual gov't employees and aim directly at them. GG: Yeah, they feel so secure, hiding behind the anonymity ofa parasitic job. Like the-time I arranged for $1800 worth of NY Times classified advertising for one gov't agency. I wrote the ad to hire a lot of people - bilingual secretaries is a good one - with simple requirements (low typing speed, some steno) high salary, and included: "Apply in person to Mrs, ------- ." It was a madhouse! Really made it hot for them! JP. Terry Southern, are you proud of yourself for creating this monster? GG: Ifyou can find out a politician's home phone number, get other people's calls transferred to it. I learned that from ‘Bteal This Book. Here's one of my favorites: Ona Saturday I called the local Furniture and Appliance Dealers' Associa- tion, said I was a reporter from the local paper, and would like to get their comments on the 5% tax on all f&a sales the Mayor had pushed through the Council that Friday afternoon. ‘Timing is important. By calling on a Saturday, they can't check on it. On Monday, there was pandemonium at City Hall. Here's one you can do to bill collectors. Find out who their lawyer is. Call some slob's wife. Tell her you are that lawyer and want to know what her husband is going to do about the overdue bilis at the Holiday Inn which he's ignored so far. Have dates and times: Checked in at 10am, checked out at l:46am. Make it hot for them. JP: I've heard the tapes you've made, and what surprises me is how unflappable you are and how you have a reply for almost everything. GG: You mean the time I called a woman and told her I was the police, and that we'd had a report that she was having loud arguments with her husband, She told me that was.im- possible, she was sewing. "Well, you're sewing too loudly, I said. She got angry and hung up. Then there was the pet owner I called told him I was with the ASPCA, and that we'd had a report he was having a bestial relationship with his German Shepherd, I described the animal perfectly., He got very upset. JP. What are you planning for the future, so I can warn everyone? GG: Well, I'm campaign manager for --- -----. » the ------ wo---- candidate for -- me JP: I can just see it now: "Republican Denies Charge”, "Democrat Denies..." What do you have in mind? GG;_T've already-said too much, Tim, For free magazine subscriptions, take the gift subscription card from a magazine (the one where you buy someone else & subscription and yourself one too). Fill in the gift sub- scription to yourself from a large hotel or anywhere there is a lobby with magazines. The bill gets sent to them. They probably won't know that they are paying for you too. The secretary who pays such @ small bill will never question whether it was authorized. They already get a sub, so they don't think twice. I used a local Howard Jobnson's and Holi- day Inn and have two free subs. For one I even got a gift card. You could be even more professional and find out the manager's name and send it to him. It's great! ‘Agent 085 Even if nobody pays the bill, the gift sub may go thru. It takes a couple of months before they realize nobody's going to pay the bill, and the computerized mailing list may not be programmed to pull the gift subs as well as the original. Most periodicals are willing to take a loss on some subs to get a high circulation so they can charge a higher advertising rate. Some people say "Bill me" and after a few notices, say "I sent you a money order for this last month" and they get the rest of the sub with no more static. IP STICK ’EM UP! Aré you ever in an office |, and have to relieve yourself (to put it'politely) but THE WASHROOMS (a. euphemism) ARE LOCKED? Why are they locked? Are they afraid someone will steal the shit? I believe itwas Jack Leonard who asked these questions, I like to give credit where credit is due, Years ago I went to a printer to have some gummed labels printed up. He advised me that it would be cheaper to bave a rubber stamp made and use it on blank gummed labels. Thus it is a simple matter to vent one's wrath (and bladder, if you choose) on the door, Why is this room focked? Are you afraid someone will steal the shit? You FORCED me to take a leak out here on the fleor. I know someone is going to ask: "What about the poor janitor who has to clean it off (and possibly up)?" In most buildings, he is a union member and probably better paid than you are, and if he's not doing that, he's doing some other job. His philosophy is probably, justifiably, Parkin~ ‘son's Law: “Work expands to fill the time" THARKS FCR TAKING 2 PAAKGRG SPAGES, YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARD! ‘This also can be very satisfying. To insure good adhesion, be sure to clean road film and dust off the windshield before applying. The "Lick'em and Stick'em" kind is probably Preferable to the self-sticking kind which can sometimes be easily peeled off. The number of stickers you use on a Single windshield should depend on the relative difficulty of finding another parking space in the area, The most difficult part is keeping a straight face if you remain in the vicinity and watch your victim return. Some animals deserve more than a temporarily obscured windshield. A neighbor of mine reported that on a recent trip to a supermarket she saw somegne in the act of parking in a spot marked "For Handicapped Only", "You're not Supposed to park there" she chided him. "I'm a cop, I can park wherever I want." he replied. He was NOT on duty. For his kind, I recommend 1 1/2" or so nails, one placed before and behind each tire, at the innermost portion of the tread to minimize visibility, wedged into the tread, so that when he moves, quadruple POW! My sympathies to anyone he encounters in the next few days, because animals like this usually take out their frustration on some innocent person, FUCKED UP is useful for defective vending machines, parking meters, or whatever. For anything or anybody which doesn't fit in any of the ‘above categories, there is always the classic a KEYBOARD KRAZIES by KRAMMAS Double pole single throw keyboards greatly simplify the construction of a blue box. However, they are quite difficult to obtain, and dpst pushbuttons are not really s viable alternative due to their high cost (about $2 apiece An exsisting keyboard, the GTE Telephone Data Entry keyboard ($7.77 from Polypaks - part #92cu3419) Can be modified to become a keyboard which can used (without diodes) to implement either the 8038 or 555 blue boxes. NOTE: it is strongly suggested that this be read through at least once before actually modifying the keyboard. 1. snap off the plastic cover surrounding the pushbuttons, which allows you easy access to the four screws holding the bottom of the keyboard on. When you remove this plastic cover take care not to disturb the fine brass wires under it. 2. remove the thick bottom plate and the plastic sheet underneath itt which holds the springs in place. 3. remove the large springs which will now protrude out of the backs of the buttons. 4. You will now see 8 metal strips running horicontally across the back of the keyboard. Each one has 3 contacts on it which correspond to the 3 vertical rows of the keyboard. Remove all of these strips. 5S. remove the rectangular plastic relay actuator bar. Two recessed channels will be left by the removal of this bar. Wires added later will be run through these channels. 6. The following modification must be performed on each of the 8 metal strips you temoved in step 4. ?. Solder 2 wires fron under the strip onto the far left sides of holes B and D. Keep these wires as far to the left as possible so that they will fit into the channels under the strips and will not interfere with the spring action. 8. ‘The strips should then be cut into 3 pieces by cutting away at the points indicated. The small square of metal between the cuts can be discarded. 9. Place all the metal strip sections back into the slots, making sure the plastic positioning Pegs are in holes A,C,and £. Run the wires dow the channels and out the ends of the board. A small dab of glue can be used under each metal Piece if you are worried about them shifting out of place. Be careful! Too much glue can run down onto the buttons and impair their movement. 9. Replace all the large springs, dropping one into each of the holes on the back of the buttons. 10. Replace the plastic sheet, making sure the fine brass wires are in their proper holes again. 11, Replace the thick bottom plate. The relay contacts can be removed and discaried as they have been disabled by the removal of the actuator. 12, Compress the bottom plate against the main body of the keyboard and replace the four screws holding it on. 13, Before enapping the plastic cover back over the keytops, make sure the fine brass wires are properly run along their grooves and that all the metal switch contacts are on the inside of the wires. Row that the keyboard is back together, here is how to use it in your blue box. Vertical buss wires A,B, and C should be soldered together to form one comnon side. Vertical bues wires D,E, and F are soldered together to form the common side of the other pole. All the other contacts to the switches are along the sides of the keyboard, or are one of the wires running out of the channels. If you took notes as you modified you know which wire is what, but a check with an ohmmeter will identify all the wires with their buttons. These individual wires can tnen be connected through the proper resistances back to your 2 oscillators. NEW CONTACT WIRES SWITCH CONTACT WERE 7: NOT HERE aie EE a FINE -BRASS WIRES BUSS WIRES A,B,C Guss wires DE,F « go « e. “eS ba eZ 5 3g it F} 2 E Zé be bE 3 oe Dear TAP, I recently hooked up a Mallory Sonalert to my telephone line for signalling purposes, as shown in issue #26. When ‘someone tries to dial out, as soon as the called party answers, the Sonalert starts buzzing. This buzzing is carried onto the line and can be heard on the telephone. I don't know what has happened, but it may be that lam serviced by General Telephone instead of Bell. What do you think? The schematic and the hockup I'm using are below. 1T ‘The Sonalert sounds because of an idiosyncracy of GTE step. In this system, when a telephone call supervises (charges), the polarity of the pair coming from your central office changes. This causes the diode in the circuit of Issue 26 to conduct, sounding the Sonalert. The circuit you sent should work. This quirk in GTE Step can be used to your advantage. By monitoring the polarity of your tele- phone line, you can easily tell whether your favorite loop- around charges. To make the phone automatically hang up when a number charges, put a 100piv lamp diode in series with your phone so when you pick up, the diode is forward biased, i.e. it conducts, and you get a dial tone. When the call you make supervises, the diode will be backbiased (not conducting) and you will get a dial tone. Edward Extract P.O, Box 640 Lockport, NY 14094 ED, NOTE: Try putting a 66 volt 5 watt Zener diode in series with the Sonalert, This will then conduct during ringing but be reversed biased when the line polarity changes: Reverse Red & Green if you get constant tone, 2K 100PIV/! Amp Diode To Red = se af FT) Fine 56 volt 5 watt —— Zener diode Issue #38 mentioned the Sten gun, Well, there's a book, tit “Improvised Weapons of the American round", a Desert Publication, available direet or from Loompanics’ \catalog is now $l, See #38) or from Eden Press, that con- tains a set of plans for a .45Sten. Unfortunately the draw- ings are either overscale or underscale and require some sorting out. As was pointed out, most factory Stens are 9mm. and one can legally obtain every part except the receiver in 99MM. Also mentioned was Saxon's "Poor Man's James Bond", a book I wrote you quys about a long time ago. Saxon now publishes "The Survivor", a small newspaper sort of publi- cation. $6 for a subscription from Atlan Formularies, Box 438, Eureka, CA. 95501. Agent 972 IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED Published for informational purposes only by Youth Hot Line Reports, Inc. ‘Address all mail and checks to TAP, 152 W. 42 ST, ROOM 418, NY 10036 NEW YORK (AP) — A woukbbe robber with sloppy handwriting was arrested because the teller sald she couldn't decipher the stickup ‘ote and told him to write another one that was readable, While he did, she puabed the set alm, 42 [ E E B tI i fl at t Hg } pean American Bank branch in Broakiya Wednesday and banded ‘Ma. Medden a badly ire veers 3 doe mapet, ented s Rel Baten 2, ‘was filling out & fresh withstrawal slip, slient alarms were sounded and a customer wrestled 5 3 F u 7% a E 0. From The News Tribune ‘Thursday, February 17, 1977 Dear TAP, My order of back issues arrived yestérday. Thanks. That's what I call SERVICE! {a compliment, for a change{} Tapplaud your exposure of the slimy habits of so-called phone phreaks, who are lower than cockroaches, undermin- ing society. I have no sympathy for the scum who would ‘steal from the phone company. Your magazine fully documents the electronic gimmicks used by these disgusting creatures but does not go into some of the more common consumer frauds that I have heard are perpetrated. For instance... J. Doe wishes to defraud the phone co, but is in no hurry about it. He calls and asks for a phone to be installed at 100 Avenue E, his "new" address (actually he's lived there for years) He says his name is Franz Kafka, The nice lady at phone co. HQ asks Mr. Kafka for his SS#, unfortunately Kafka has lived most of his life outside the US, and has not yet gotten a SS#, How about an employer? Mr. Kafka is self-employed. A bank? He has none. Credit cards? No. No references at alll All be has is a trusted friend in whose apartment he is living pending his move to Ave. E. He gives name, address, and phone # of trusted friend. (The phone co. WILL later call this number on some pretext to check if Kafka is known there, so the friend had better play along) ‘The kind lady will be dismayed about Kafka's lack of refer- ences, but will in the end get him his phone, provided ha pays the $60 deposit. Doe, alias Kafka, doesn't mind ‘because it pays more interest than a savings account and after six months of good behavior he gets it refunded anyway. ‘THEN, he calls like crazy - Hong Kong, Brazil, wherever - and quite freely, till the phone is eventually disconnected, ‘The phone co. comes around looking for Franz Kafka and Doe willingly answers the door, saying Kafka just moved out to the Fiji Islands, Doe naturally shows his own ID to prove he isn't Kafka, You see where this leads? Anarchy! Destruction of the Free World as we know it! The techniques can also be used on Con Edison, tho the scum involved who do such things say that Con Ed is so inefficient it's hardly worth it, Another piece of phone co. consumer info is that if you arrange for your phone to be disconnected temporarily, it takes them months to catch on to the fact that you've actually absconded. They then send a few final bills and then GIVE UP - no collection agency bills or anything. I have heard that unscrupulous people take advantage of this. I trust your crusade to wipe out fraud is successful. each, 409 each Uf you erder 30 xxx ‘BECP ER province nsat fr Ust of stare areca, GPRETGEELS tnaniesoiad envelope 30 Camda & stapied $4. Foreign 37. ‘malliog label or Xerox copy P about your subscription. ‘Gourpan - 50f each A - Basic Hlectricity B-A.C. ‘~ Basic Phone Oporation D~ Amplifiers Send only check or monay arder (NO CASE) to ‘TAP, 162 W 42 Street, Room 418, New York 10088 i